59,731 Americans Voted for Kanye West
Regardless of which Presidential candidate you voted for, chances are you didn’t vote for Kanye West. In perhaps the most dismal showing in U.S. electoral history, the enigmatic rapper garnered just .04 percent of the popular vote. Despite starring in a top-rated reality television show, having seven platinum albums, and being married to a Kardashian, Yeezy couldn’t turn his universal name recognition into election success. In fact, he polled less than equally dubious Independent candidates from the 2016 contest, including Harambe (the dead Gorilla) and a 15-year old boy from Iowa that legally changed his name from Brady Olson to Deez Nuts.
As an Independent candidate not affiliated with a major political party, Kanye did not raise our expectations. In fact, I don’t believe he met his own expectations. In Kanye’s mind, he probably thought he was going to win. Whether he engaged in a publicity stunt or narcissistic side hustle, Kanye found that it was “not eazy to vote Yeezy.” In fact, most of his public appearances were not eazy to watch. This interview by Joe Rogan is downright cringe-worthy. Even his bizarro campaign appearances brought more questions than answers. Why is he wearing a bulletproof vest? Why is he crying? Why did anyone show up?
Let’s face it — 2020 by all accounts has been a disaster. COVID-19, a divisive election, Tiger King, and a movie no one saw called Parasite won the Academy Award for Best Picture. This year was so whacked out that Poland accidentally invaded the Czech Republic. I’m not kidding. #czechyoself
If only one person on the face of the planet could be the face of this ridiculously emotional rollercoaster we call 2020, it would be Kanye “Yeezus” West. I had an idea this week that might be crazy, but who cares? After all, we’re talking about Kanye here. I started an online petition to have Kanye West named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. The criteria for this recognition, according to Time, is the person nominated should be one “who most affected the news and our lives, for good or ill, and embodied what was important about the year.”
As we turn the corner on 2020 and begin the holiday season, let’s raise a glass to the ignominious Mr. West and if you think my idea has merit, please sign the petition here.
Monday, November 2 — Welcome Back!
On Monday, we welcomed back two wayward Madison+Main-iacs. Former intern Kennedy “JFK” Heidel returned from backpacking the far East and Australia, joining M+M full-time as a Junior Communications Specialist. #isntthatspecial
Also joining us is Marita “Gamer Girl” Cardenas, who interned for Madison+Main back in 2008. Over the last decade, Marita has held several marketing positions in retail and medical and we are excited that she is joining us as an Account Executive.
Tuesday, November 3 — Election Day
I am proud to say that many of the Madison+Main-iac’s used their Civic Duty PTO to vote or volunteer at the polls this past Tuesday. After casting my ballot in the empty City of Richmond Central Library, I got my sticker and promptly posted a selfie on social media. That’s what you do, right?
On Tuesday evening, I traveled to the deepest, darkest part of Goochland County where I joined my friend, and Dale Carnegie Training owner, JJ White in his underground bunker. JJ celebrated his last night on Facebook with a bourbon-fueled livestream. Afterward, he promptly deleted his Facebook account. Which is good, so there is no video evidence of the catastrophe. I would like to personally thank all 37 people who accidentally watched the broadcast.
Speaking of Dale Carnegie Training, congrats to Jr. Graphic Designer Jenna “Fan Girl” Farley for recently finishing her virtual eight-week Dale Carnegie Training Skills for Success course. #woo
Wednesday, November 4 — WTF + WFT = FTW
On Wednesday, I bought the team personalized notebooks from an obscure online store called WTF Notebooks. The site offers inappropriate, awkward, honest, sarcastic, and NSFW notebooks.
Speaking of WTF, how ‘bout that WFT? On Wednesday, I learned the NFL team, formerly known as the Washington Redskins, beat the Dallas Cowboys last Sunday to claim second place in the NFC Least. I stopped watching football last fall and stopped following the WFT after they changed their name to WFT. This is the last time I will write about the WFT.
Thursday, November 5 — Blue Gene Bash
On Thursday evening, our clients at Hitting Cancer Below the Belt (a.k.a. HCB2) held a successful virtual fundraiser and silent auction. Even though the “Blue Gene Bash” was online, a good time was had by all. Nikki Kimbrough even won the $500 prize for singing Tina Turner‘s “What’s Love Got To Do With It” in the talent show. As a reminder, donations are still open.
Our favorite client, the Texas Inn, also received a big box of 500 vintage-inspired postcards designed by M+M Senior Graphic Designer Erin “Baby Face” Rebmann. Check out this cool design! You can buy them at either location of the Texas Inn or simply visit the online shop.
Friday, November 6 — Urbana Daze
Like everything else that was supposed to be fun in 2020, Virginia’s official party — The Urbanna Festival — has been canceled. However, I am happy to announce that the town of Urbanna, population 467, decided to create Urbanna Days in its place. So I am writing the Weekly Report on my laptop at the Cool Beans Cafe watching the last-minute preparations for the festival. I just picked up a bushel of oysters and a bushel of beer and if you’re in the neighborhood, drop by, say hi, and support the hard-hit merchants and restaurants in Urbanna. You don’t have to work tomorrow. #shuckit
A Few of Our Favorite Events
1 Bowman Drive | Fredericksburg, VA
November 14, 2020 | 6-9 p.m.
A. Smith Bowman Distillery and Earth Apple LLC have partnered to bring you a unique bourbon experience! Master Distiller Brian Prewitt will start the evening off with a guided tasting of rare Abraham Bowman Limited Edition Whiskies, accompanied by delectable small bites specially selected by Chef Jessica Wilkins. Following the tasting, Chef Jessica will treat guests to a 3-course dinner served with carefully crafted bourbon cocktails. Tickets will cost $125 per person and go on sale October 14 at 10 a.m. via Eventbrite.
“Baby I got a plan, run away as fast as you can.“
— Kanye West, “Runaway” (2010)