This week we celebrated our sixth month on lockdown with a virtual happy hour. You know what a virtual happy hour is, don’t you? It’s people drinking by themselves, staring aimlessly into their webcams or at their phones, while on a Zoom call with other sad-faced friends or colleagues. The first time you do this, you think, “Cool. I’m glad we were all able to get together.” The 37th time you do this, you think, “Crap. It’s another virtual happy hour. Maybe I’ll make an excuse about how I have to go pick up the kids?” Either way, you can be 100% certain that someone will say, “Gosh, it’s a shame we can’t all be there in person.”

 

Virtual meetings. Virtual classrooms. Virtual weddings. Virtual concerts. Virtual 5Ks and virtual bike rides. I’ll let you in on a little secret…virtual sucks. 

 

In real life, there is accountability. If you show up late to a meeting, you have to make the walk of shame over to your seat and it’s customary to apologize to everyone for your tardiness. In a virtual meeting, no one cares if you’re late and most people don’t apologize for being late, because nobody recognized that you were late in the first place. Virtual meetings limit collaboration. In a real meeting, you can see reactions and you can hear others — taking visual and audible clues from people allows you to tailor the language you use and move the creative problem-solving process further. In a Zoom meeting, everyone is encouraged to mute themselves and practically no one nods, gives a thumbs up, or any other visual cues to show approval.

 

And finally, even though a virtual event allows us to use video, many people turn off their cameras, which is the one technological wonder that makes a virtual meeting worth having. Otherwise, it’s just a stupid conference call. “Shall we start? Is Jim on the line? (clears throat of phlegm) Can everyone hear me? OK, let’s start.” 

 

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve attended some events in person — Rotary meetings, Council of CEOs, Labor Day cookouts, Compass Entertainment Complex’s Grand Opening, and I even drove down to The Bay to go boat shopping. And it didn’t suck. 

 

Speaking of virtual events, you are all invited to Madison+Main’s Virtual Media Mixer on Wednesday, October 7. It’s BYOB and we’ll do our best not to suck. #sorry

1800 Lakeside Avenue | Richmond, VA

Relax on Thursday evenings throughout the summer at Flowers After 5. Stroll through the gardens; enjoy live music, wine and beer, dining and shopping. Tickets will be limited and online only (no walk-ups)! The event is rain or shine; no refunds. Cost is $14 for adults; $11 for senior citizens (65+); $8 for children ages 3-12; and free for children under 3.