Jury Duty Is Your Civic Duty
Dave is on jury duty this week. No phones, no laptops, no newspapers, and no “wet food” — whatever that means. He is currently stuck in the bowels of the John Marshall Court Building, struggling under a set of 19th-century rules and a mid-20th-century decor. He left the Weekly Report in my hands — the lesser skilled word wizard, formerly known as Derek Fair.
The moment I caught wind of Dave’s duty to administer swift and punishing justice, I immediately had flashbacks to when I was called to the courtroom to serve — and not jail time — in 2013. Luckily, I received a call the next day informing me that I was no longer needed on a jury. Apparently, they don’t like guys named Derek. The only two Derek’s there were both summarily dismissed. Crazy right? All I did was post 37 flat-Earth conspiracy theories the night before on Facebook. #BabyGotFlat #DiscNotGlobe
In all seriousness, there aren’t many ways to dodge the daunting task of jury duty, but if I ever get called in again, I may use one of these excuses. The Madison+Main-iacs got together, traveled to 9th & Marshall, and tried to smuggle a note to Dave. Intern Hilda Hosseini was brutally tackled by a 240-pound Sheriff’s Deputy in the misguided attempt. Although we didn’t succeed in our mission to get Dave released from his civic duty, we thought we would share out Top 10 Four-Word Phrases That Will Get You Out Of Jury Duty — and maybe thrown out of a courtroom. (Read each one of the following below as if you were Dave. Trust me, it’s funnier that way.)
10. “I’m sick. It’s ebola.”
9. “Can I play judge?”
8. “My water just broke.”
7. “I’m actually a pug.”
6. “I can smell guilt.”
5. “Epstein didn’t kill himself.”
4. “Are pants a requirement?”
3. “Two words. Uncontrollable Flatulence.”
2. “WWMD — What would Mussolini do?”
And the number one four-word phrase that will get you out of jury duty…
1. “Is torture an option?”
Monday, January 6 – I Think We Have A Shot
We started the week off with great news. Our client, A. Smith Bowman Distillery, was nominated for this year’s Icons of Whisky America Awards — courtesy of Whisky Magazine. And if you’ve had any of their products, you’d understand why. Virginia’s oldest and most award-winning distillery is in the runnings for “Visitor Attraction of the Year” and “Distiller of the Year,” while Brian Prewitt hopes to bring home the “Master Distiller/Blender of the Year” award. If you’re located in the Big Apple or plan on traveling to NY on February 11, you can attend the event and hear the winners announced live at The Flatiron Room. Or simply stalk A. Smith Bowman Distillery’s Facebook page shortly after for the highly-anticipated results. And if it wasn’t already exciting enough, Madison+Main was also nominated “PR Agency of the Year.”
In the afternoon, we met with the good folks from All American Mobility for a CORE strategy session to learn the nuts-and-bolts of their Fredericksburg-based access and mobility equipment business. It was a great meeting and we can’t wait to get rolling on some great new campaigns for them.
Tuesday, January 7 – Chair-ished
If you read last week’s Weekly Report, you know that we’re slowly renovating our office. Last Friday, we assembled new desks. This Tuesday? New conference room chairs. The Madison+Main-iacs formed an assembly line, similar to Ford in 1913, and got rolling. Literally. After they endlessly and exhaustingly took turns twisting allen screws, Communications Director Kent Brockwell pulled out his DeWalt screw gun and the entire assembly line simultaneously slapped their foreheads. #TheSlapHeardAllAroundTheWorld
Wednesday, January 8 – New Addition
On Wednesday, we welcomed our new Office Manager Mollie Banks to the Madison+Main team. (I think Molly Whitfield pushed to hire her based off her name, but shh, don’t tell anyone.) We’re super excited to have her on board and show her the ropes. As a result, we promoted our previous Office Manager Katie “Bossy” Rossberg to the newly-formed role of Client Services Manager, where she will manage several client accounts and continue to be a rockstar on the operational side.
Thursday, January 9 – Care That Continues With You
Yesterday, we released our latest TV commercial for Lucy Corr. We partnered with the talented team at BES Studios to create a fun spot, which we call “Pocket Dial,” to highlight how enjoyable it is to be a resident at their caring senior living community in Chesterfield. Be sure to check the commercial out today and leave a comment to let us know what you think.
Friday, January 10 – Oh, Shoot!
What happens when your photographer has a fever? You improvise. Creative Director Art Webb and Account Executive Allison Nida put their photography skills to use and staged an impromptu photo shoot for our clients at A. Smith Bowman Distillery for an upcoming magazine feature. It’s a good thing we have a bar in our office. (And just so the cocktails didn’t go wasted, I volunteered to drink them both.)
A Few of Our Favorite Events
M+M New Year’s Media Mixer
111 Virginia Street | Richmond, VA
January 15, 2019 | 5:30 – 8 p.m.
Join the Madison+Main-iacs Wednesday, January 15 as we round up our clients, partners, and friends to celebrate the new decade at Morton’s Steakhouse! Our New Year’s Media Mixer will include bar bites, a cash bar, and great conversation. Learn more or RSVP by emailing Leanne Ferry!
Virginia Council of CEOs Quarterly Luncheon
422 Westhampton Way | Richmond, VA
January 22, 2020 | 12 – 1:30 p.m.
Virginia’s unemployment rate (2.6%) is the second-lowest since 1969. The single biggest issue for most small businesses is workforce. The companies that do succeed in finding talent are doing it in creative and systematic ways. Come out and get tips from myself, Jane Holmes (RTS Labs), Mark Smith (Midas of Richmond), and Carrie Todd (Entercom Media) on how to stay ahead in the war for talent. The luncheon is free for members and sponsors, but has a fee of $95 for guests. Register today!
Virginia Spirits Roadshow: A. Smith Bowman Distillery
1 Bowman Drive | Fredericksburg, VA
February 8, 2019 | 12 – 5 p.m.
Come join us for the Virginia Craft Spirits Roadshow at A. Smith Bowman Distillery! Tickets will include all samples of artisan spirits as well as craft cocktails from numerous Virginia distilleries; while guests can mix, mingle, and engage with Virginia distillers firsthand! Purchase any bottles you enjoy to take home — they’ll even store them at their concierge station while you enjoy the event. Save money by purchasing your tickets at the advanced promo prices vs. the day of: $20 for one general admission, or $35 for two general admission tickets.
Got an upcoming event you want to share? Can we come? Send us the deets!
“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”
— Norm Crosby