Top 10 Useless and Annoying Technologies

Apparently, I really struck a chord with last week’s Weekly Report. I ask for examples of useless and annoying technology and you guys and gals were more than happy to oblige. I also got several suggestions when I asked the “hive mind,” aka my social media family.

At Madison+Main we know this technique of polling your customers can be a great way to get immediate and valuable feedback. Market research and customers’ attitudes and opinions help you and your company keep a pulse on what people want, how they want it, and when they want it.

So here goes our Official Top 10 “Useless And Annoying Technologies” List:

10. Parking Apps. Different apps for different cities mean I have to download a new app every time I travel. It used to take 30 seconds to park…now it takes 10 minutes. I have to sit in the car, find a credit card, enter the data, and give them all of my personal information. Yay, Park Albany can now follow me around the world on my iPhone.

9. QR Menus. It’s hard enough to read 37 items on a screen that’s three inches tall, but man-oh-man, I miss big, beautiful printed menus with pictures and colorful descriptions. This is another COVID-era idea that needs to go away. If you leave your phone in the car before you go into Casa del Barco, you’re gonna be hungry and thirsty.

8. $40 Desk Printers. Always jamming and not the fun kind of jamming, like the 1989 hit “Pump up the Jam” by Technotronic. And ink…don’t get me started about ink. A cheap $40 printer can use $830 of ink in a year. That makes Kinko’s look like the cheap option.

7. Autocorrect. I’ve never, ever typed “ducking” in a text message. Autocorrect is the main reason I have no faith in AI. Siri and I have a “complicated relationship,” which she autocorrected to “consummated relationship.” Oh boy.

6. Electronic Spin The Bottle Game. Teenagers have enough stress without having to find a bottle and they obviously don’t have the energy to spin it. #literally. So, some genius created an electronic spin the bottle game. Retail Price $117. Ranked 270,000th in Amazon games. Don’t buy one here.

5. Unsubscribe Emails. You only add insult to injury when you send another email letting the customer know that they’ve unsubscribed. I clicked unsubscribe on a Snapfish list I had no idea I signed up for and then immediately got another unwanted email. You just can’t make this stuff up.

4. Two-Factor Authentication. I get the need for security in this day and age, but two-factor is just out of control. Fingerprints, facial recognition, and 12-digit passwords with lower-case, upper case letters, numbers, and symbols should be enough, but noooooooo, we need to type in a 6-digit code that will self-destruct in 30 seconds. 

3. CAPTCHA. Are there motorcycles in that picture? Beats me! So let’s think about this. I have to tell a robot I’m actually a human being and not a robot. One of these days I’ll get the chance to prove I’m not a robot to my robot overlords by asking them if they’re really a robot. #AI

2. The George Foreman Quesadilla Maker. So you bought into the hype 30 years ago and bought a George Foreman Grill, because George Foreman was funny and a good boxer and he loved to eat burgers. You were not alone. He sold more than 100 million units. But the sequel, the George Foreman Quesadilla Maker, is about as useless as it gets. I used mine as a doorstop. Trust me, the sequel is never better than the original. For example, I once saw Police Academy 4.

1. The Shoe Umbrella. Yes, it exists and no, you don’t need them. They were invented in Japan and apparently not a big seller, even there. I’m not really sure if it’s a joke or a real product. Of course, I’ve never bought a $1,000 pair of sneakers.

Can’t get this kind of quality feedback without asking — so use the power of polls when planning your marketing!