Are Disclaimers Proof That Common Sense is Dead?

Warning: this article contains satire and real examples of people doing stupid things and it is not intended for all audiences, especially people who actually consume Tide Pods.

I hope you actually read my disclaimer. In 2013, a few young kids had ingested Tide Pods and gotten sick. It was in the news and then it was gone again. A few years later in 2017 came the “Tide Pod Challenge” and we as a society lost all common sense. Then the internet blew up with teenagers challenging each other to eat Tide Pods. Yes, people dared each other to eat laundry detergent on social media. Procter & Gamble had to add a line to their disclaimer to not eat Tide Pods. They also had to change the taste, texture, and color of the product. They placed ads on TV. One Public Service Announcement featured Patriots brainiac Rob Gronkowski telling people “No, no, no, no…”

I was on a flight recently and the airline gave me a small bag of peanuts. The bag said “Allergy Warning: May include peanuts.” It was a bag of peanuts. I didn’t expect it to contain anything else. #durp 

Gorilla Glue had to modify its product warning because a young lady in Louisiana used Gorilla Glue on her hair when she ran out of hair spray. We now have to tell people not to put glue in their hair. #noway

Are disclaimers proof that we have lost all common sense? And do we really think that people who would intentionally eat laundry detergent or put industrial-strength glue in their hair would actually read a disclaimer?

Virginia law requires restaurants like Texas Inn to post a consumer advisory on their menus. Most dining establishments can modify the warning to make it more applicable, but we are not allowed to do so at our Cornerstone Lynchburg location.

Our menu now says: “*Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness.”

Thinking this was a little ridiculous, I added the following statement under the Consumer Advisory: “The government makes us put this silly statement on our menu even though we don’t serve seafood or shellfish. Also, we would never, ever serve you an undercooked burger or a raw egg.”

Apparently the Lynchburg Health Inspector doesn’t share our sense of humor and cited us for not being in compliance last week. #truestory

What is the dumbest disclaimer you’ve ever seen? Send me your story here.