One Year Ago…In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.
A year ago, we were locked down. Isolated. The only trip we could take was to Kroger to buy toilet paper. If they had some left. What a long, strange trip this last year has been. As I got my COVID-19 vaccination yesterday (thank you PartnerMD), I thought I’d reflect on what it was like during those early days of the pandemic.
In my research, I came across some posts that I made on Facebook to amuse friends and family. For a week, I wrote a brief tongue-in-cheek update called The Captain’s Log. I wrote them in the first person, as Captain James T. Kirk, commander of the Starship Enterprise Stardate. On March 18th, 2020, Kirk and crew entered the COVID-19 Galaxy.
Captain’s Log, Stardate 3.17.2020: Isolation is setting in. Morale is slipping among the crew. No one has the virus, but we’ve run out of frozen pizza and ramen, and now we’ve been reduced to eating an old jar of pickled beets and making onion soup from that powder we bought for dip mix in 2017. Toilet paper supply is ample as we still fight the Klingons.
Captain’s Log, Stardate 3.18.2020: Morale among crew is still high, but Bones and Spock are arguing over the quarantine. Spock simply says “illogical.” Supplies are holding up. Neelix, the cook, turned the pickled beets into homemade Plomeek Soup last night. Spock was the only one who chowed down. Dropped by Lt. Uhura’s room last night. She said she was “social distancing” and slammed the door. This virus must end!!!!
Captain’s Log, Stardate 3.19.2020: The stress of isolation is starting to show. Lieutenant Sulu keeps offering me massages. “Oh my!” President Khan and his Virus Task Force held another daily briefing. He says everything is going “Tremendously well. Really, really, we’re doing a fantastic job.” Meanwhile, Scotty is experimenting with potable water and shelf-stable bread, trying to distill it into cheap scotch. Filtering the final product with surplus Kroger brand coffee filters. Sampling tonight.
Captain’s Log, Stardate 3.20.2020: Low energy and lower morale. Slept late. Walked to the bridge in my PJs. Ran out of razors…hmmm, maybe I’ll start to grow a beard like Spock. High carb, low protein diet is taking its toll on the crew. Zero-gravity vacuum toilets weren’t designed for this kind of abuse. They suck. Thank God we have lots of Charmin to squeeze. Board games have turned into bored games. When I heard the crew calling “Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!” I thought we were under attack.
Captain’s Log 3.22.2020: Passed by Sector 19 of COVID-19 Galaxy today and saw a brilliantly white planet. We named it Clorox. Sent a couple of redshirts down to the planet below to scavenge for more pasta and canned corn. Neither made it back. New guys, I can’t remember their names. I found Bones laid out on the floor of the lab this morning. Sweaty, dehydrated, and had a blue tongue. Turns out he doesn’t have the virus, he’s just hungover. That Romulan ale is powerful stuff.
Monday, March 15 — Welcome Aboard!
This Monday, the Madison+Main-iacs welcomed two new smiling faces to the team! AJ Stuit and Patty Boone both joined the Creative team as Graphic Designers! These ladies are passionate, excited, gregarious, and uber-talented — so I think they’ll fit right in with the team. Patty let us know on her first day that hot dogs were her favorite food, so she and I are becoming fast friends. Especially considering I own the restaurants with the best hot dogs in Virginia (Hint hint: It rhymes with Lexus Shin).
Tuesday, March 16 — Know A Guy?
Do you know an individual or organization that has shown outstanding service to Williamsburg seniors throughout the pandemic? Our clients at Williamsburg Landing are giving out an Outstanding Service to Seniors Award! In honor of Older Americans Month in May, the winner will receive a check for $1,000 made payable to a senior-serving nonprofit organization of their choice. Did someone come to mind? Nominate them by April 15th!
Wednesday, March 17 — Putting Two And Two Together
Wednesday was St. Patrick’s Day and it was also a pretty lucky day for Madison+Main. We added Perkinson Center For The Arts & Education and Trash Fairies to the Madison+Main client roster. We are very excited to get to work with the good folks at both of these organizations. Keep your eyes peeled for some bold work and good news in the coming weeks.
Speaking of amazing clients, Camp Hanover has recently opened early registration for their summer sessions. Since 1957, Camp Hanover has offered Christian summer camps for elementary, middle, and high school youth throughout Richmond. If you have a child that’s been virtually learning this past year, I highly recommend you get them outdoors this summer. There’s only 92 sleeps until camp starts. Register them today!
Thursday, March 18 — Change Is Good
On my most recent trip back to Virginia for my vaccine, I finally was able to use my Slora app when I made the mad dash to the office from RIC. Slora is an easy way to pay tolls in Virginia straight from your phone. If you’re hitting the road for any springtime road trips, save yourself the hassle of digging around in your dirty cup holder for a couple of quarters, and download Slora before you go. Come on, it makes cents. See what I did there?
Friday, March 19 — Becoming The Best In The Biz
Last week, four Madison+Main-iacs started a virtual Dale Carnegie course: Effective Communications and Human Relations. Account Executives Marita Cardenas and Jeremy Colb were joined by Office Manager Mollie Banks and Jr. Communication Specialist Kennedy Heidel for the 8-week intensive. Longtime readers of the Weekly Report know I send ALL of my people through Dale Carnegie Training. This week, during introductions to our newest employees, our resident wordsmith Kennedy Heidel used her Carnegie skills right away by introducing herself, “My name is (pause) Kennedy (part) Heidel (punch).” See, JJ White? It’s working!
Happy Birthday to our Fearless Leader! Molly Whitfield celebrated her birthday by enduring a gloriously out-of-tune rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” from the entire M+M team. She then took the rest of the day off to enjoy herself — as she should. So let’s all send her some birthday love today. And maybe earplugs for next year. Happy birthday to the funniest, smartest, greatest leader I know. Wait, did I say “to?” I meant “from…”
A Few of Our Favorite Events
“Without freedom of choice there is no creativity. The body dies.”
— Captain James T. Kirk